Getting Rowdy on the Red River
This past weekend, I floated 95 miles down the Red River. We put in from Garland City, Arkansas and went all the way to Shreveport, Louisiana. All my life I have heard how dangerous and unpredictable the Red River is. No one ever told me about the sandy beaches, the plethora of fish, or the rock bluffs that it has. We also didn’t see anyone for four days as we floated.
That’s a lesson to learn. Don’t trust what everyone says. As a youngster, I always “listened to my elders”, but I never accounted for the fact that idiots grow up too. The fact that the Red River was warm, welcoming, and no more dangerous than any other body of water in Arkansas just goes to prove that their old wives tales are just that. I wish I had explored this river earlier in my life.
Hone The Edge
Physical
Programming my body for real life.-This week has been about resting and resetting. I have been preparing for the fire academy, but do to defective polygraph test, I don’t think that will be happening. However, in terms of physical preparedness, I am glad that it happened. Now I can train for what I want to train for. Hunting.
I’m thinking of doing the Mountain Tactical Institute’s Big Game Hunting Program next year. Yet, I don’t want to stop lifting. However, programming my body to excel in the mountains is absolutely crucial to success. I’m not sure exactly what I will do. For now I will stay on the fire department plan until it runs out. MTI’s hunting plan goes on for 29 weeks. If I could time it so that I am finishing that come September next year, that would be ideal.
In the mean time, I have been trying to locate protein in whole foods. Logging things and seeing what my habits are has been critical in this process. I used to be very good at this using MyFitnessPal, however over the past few years I have drifted away from it. The old saying “you can’t out work a shitty diet” is incredibly true. I have seen more benefit from correcting what I am eating rather than how I am working.
Mental
Metaphors convey meaning-I took a writing course from The Dead Reckoning Collective. They had us read short stories that we subsequently analyzed during the class. One thing that suck out was the way authors use stories as metaphors for the real story they want to tell and explore. This reminded me of a book I am reading, Young Men and Fire.
My old commander recommended it to me when he found out that I was reading A River Runs Through It, that is by the same author. We both came to tears talking about the love that Maclean has for his wife. Turns out, the Army requires their most advanced students of war fighting philosophy to read it at the beginning of their studies as the book is a metaphor for his wife’s passing.
I have a story that is forming in my head and I am almost ready to write it. It will talk about the time I floated out to sea in a blowup boat and got mixed up with some sharks. It was one of the most frightening moments of my life as I was completely vulnerable and helpless. It was only by God’s grace that I survived. I intend to take what I have learned from Maclean and The Dead Reckoning Collective and make the story a metaphor with my struggles with suicidal ideation after I came home from Afghanistan.
Spiritual
Floating down a river gives you a lot of time to think. Even though I did it with a good friend of mine, we drifted apart from time to time as friends do. This time, we did it literally. One of the things that I kept coming back to was the waste of time in my marriage over the last few years.
I grew up in a home that was less than ideal in terms of family dynamics. My parents were so focused on making sure we had material things that they completely overlooked how they treated one another. By the time I was 16, they divorced. For the last twenty years I have heard from both side how the other was terrible. The one thing I took away from it was I was going to be a good husband.
Yet, with a wife of seven years I can look back on our lives and say for the past few years I have put my duty as an Army officer first. It is a terrible mistake that I will regret the rest of my life. I have done harm to my sweet wife who forgives me for some reason and sticks around for round two.
I knew that I needed to change something. I knew it revolved around the way I treated my wife. Yet, I didn’t know how exactly. I looked through my theology and determined that I was doing everything right I knew to do. Yet, it was not enough. Where did the mindset shift need to occur?
Enter the Catholics.
Catholic theology says that we all have three main vocations in life. Our first vocation is universal, to be holy. The second is the direction we will focus our life in. Finally, the third vocation is the daily crosses we have to bear in order to meet that second vocation. Since I am not a priest and I am married, I am called to the vocation of marriage.
It may not sound like much, but this has really turned a corner for me. Looking at my wife as my calling. To serve her. To meet her needs physically, mentally, and spiritually. That means praying with her, complimenting her, and playing with her hair if I dare to be specific.
What is your vocation?
Parting Tip
The Sawyer Squeeze is the smartest thing I have found in a while. While I floated down the Red River, I needed to purify water for cooking and hydration. We decided to try a new gadget for our water purification needs, The Sawyer Squeeze. I have to say, after years of drinking water that has been purified in a variety of ways, the squeeze is the best. It weighs nothing, its quick, its effective. For only $30, The Sawyer Squeeze is worth far more than what you will pay for it.